"Just Pee it"

BooBoo (2.5) has a new favorite song, Beat It, by his new favorite artist, Michael Jackson. It is really cute, actually. I'll try to get a video of him singing it. We started serious potty training Wed. The first three days were hell because he expected me to give in like I had on all the previous attempts. But this time I didn't!! I stuck with it through all the poop in my bathtub and pee on my chairs. By Friday, we were making some progress, and today is going very well so far. The funny story is from dinner a few nights ago. My husband likes to take songs they like and put different words to them. So our dinner entertainment was "Just Pee it." It was so funny, my 5 year old took it and ran, and now I've had that song in my head for 2 days! Unfortunately, I can't talk him into singing it for the camera. Hopefully it's one of those things we can remember to tease him with one day.

For Memorial Day, we went back to Six Flags. We had so much fun! The boys all handle the long, hot days very well, and everybody gets a great night's sleep! I can't believe the rides CooCoo (5) is willing to ride. Even when he's scared, he won't admit it.

"Mother's little helper" (click here for soundtrack to this post)

This is at Six Flags, but I really need one of these cages at my house!

It's only 9:45am, and I am in a horrible mood already! I'm trying to potty train my 2 year old, and we are not seeing eye to eye. He pooped in the bath and in the floor last night. He finally finished pooping in the potty after he left a trail of poop in the floor. He peed in my favorite rocking chair, in the corner of my room and in the floor. The kicker is that he knows how to get on the potty all by himself and pee. And he can hold it for hours. This is just a battle of wills at this point. I have given up so many times that I'm determined to not go back to diapers this time.

Because of that, I guess, everything they do is grating on my nerves. My five year old can't catch a break. I know it, but I can't seem to stop myself. He has some habits of his own, and I am determined to break them over the summer. For one, and this is a new one, he keeps raising the wood blinds and opening windows. He doesn't understand that it is dangerous for a child to open windows. Not to mention the damage (potential and actual) to the blinds. Why do you have to keep telling kids the same thing over and over and over?

I think we need to get out of the house when the baby wakes up and get some fresh air. And I think Mama needs a time out today. Unfortunately, my next time out is 11 weeks away when school starts back. Hmmm, maybe my crankiness is just dread of the long, hot summer. Either way, it's not their fault, I'm the adult, and I need to get a grip!

Edited to add:
I ended up calling some friends to meet me out at the playground in the neighborhood where we have a lot. We had a picnic and let the kids and dogs play for 3 hours. Booboo went through 3 pairs of shorts, but we all had a blast. It's amazing to me how much better I feel when I get outside and surround myself with my supportive friends. I am so thankful for them.
When we got home, I washed Booboo up for his nap, and he peed in the potty! Yay!

Disappointment

Opps, I did it again. I let my hopes build up again, and I've been let down again. And really, it is my own fault. I know that I've had a good life, and I was blessed with a happy childhood. Still, I feel something missing in my relationship with my dad. He worked hard and long, and my mom raised me pretty much alone. He was never the type to take me out to play or spend much quality time. When he was there, though, he was a kind and loving father. As I got older, it was harder for him to relate to me, I guess. I idealized him and always tried to please him, but I never seemed to be able to make him proud enough.

After I got married, it took me awhile to stop turning to him and wanting him to fix everything for me. He was a contractor and a grader, so I always wanted him to help us when something came up. I still crave that attention from him and quality time with him. I still want to force him into the pretty little "family" mold that I have in my head. When we decided to finish the basement of our house; he agreed to help us. He came over and rerouted the stairs the way I wanted them. Then I waited, and waited and waited, and he never came back. He would avoid the question and refused to give me any idea when we could get started again. "I'll do it when I'm good and ready." Well, I can't argue with that. He won't let us pay him, so we can't exactly complain. We finally hired someone else to do it, and he was probably relieved.

The recent tornado left us with some damage. I called my dad on Monday morning, and he chuckled as if he had been expecting me. He came right over, and he and his help spent all day patching my roof. They were pleasant and outgoing. I loved having him here, and I went back to my la-la land that we were the closest daddy-daughter and we were gonna work together. He even asked about my friend down the road and went to her house to fix her trampoline. He left with the understanding that they would return to fix the flashing on the house; heck, he even left his ladder. That was 9 days ago. I've called him twice, and I realize now that he's not coming. What he said yesterday is that he's on another job. Okay, I think, that makes sense. So I ask if he can give me an idea of when to expect him. "I don't know, baby, it may be tomorrow, and it may be in three weeks. Call somebody else if you want to." I finally realize that he wants me to call somebody else. He doesn't want to deal with it. And there is nothing wrong with that. What has me sad is the bigger picture. We are never gonna "hang out." He isn't gonna invite my family for dinner or even accept my many offers to have dinner here. He didn't even eat during the Christmas dinner that I've begun insisting that I host here. He's just not that guy.

I think that is why I feel so sentimental when I see my husband with our children. He is that guy. He is the kind of dad that I still want for myself. He even knows me well enough to know why I was putting off calling another contractor to get this work done. I was waiting on my daddy to rescue me. He provided support in his strong, subtle way, and he was there to catch me, again, when I fell. I woke up today and called my neighbor (a contractor), and he was glad to help. Oh,here's the irony: he was trained by my dad. And guess what he says? "I love your dad. He's a great man, and he was an excellent builder." "Yeah, I know," I say, as I swell up again with pride and love for the man I will never truly know.

School's Out For Summer

Yesterday was CooCoo's last day of school. This fall, he will be a kindergardener! Wow! We had a party Wed, and the two younger boys and I went to eat lunch with him yesterday. He came home early with us, and when I hugged his teachers goodbye, I cried! Not a soppy cry, but I did tear up. Which made them tear up. The truth is that I really enjoyed them both, and it was a wonderful first year.

I hope we can get through the next 3 months without too much drama. Coo and Boo are wonderful children, but they can play very wildly when they are together. A lot of wrestling and screaming in a house with a mom who loves peace and quiet. I have to remind myself how much I will miss the noise and action when they get older. Sometimes that works... Sometimes it doesn't!

I have them signed up for a yoga class on Wednesdays, and I think my mom and I are gonna try to sign up for an aerobic class three days a week at the gym. Mostly because they provide childcare, and the kids get to play in the gym. We will have to take turns dealing with Tiki (the baby). In the meantime, maybe we'll get in shape too. I have a stubborn 10 pounds left from the pregnancy, and bikini season is just around the corner.



Isn't he worth a little extra weight, though?

Mother's Day

We woke up on Mother's Day a little after 4 am to the sound of another tornado coming. We have had two this spring, which is two more than usual. So we grabbed the boys and headed to the basement. I realize after these two tornadoes that I am not prepared. I'm going to make an emergency kit with matches, candles, flashlights and food for next time. Both times, I have been rummaging through the kitchen drawer in the dark for my lighter during the bad part of the storm! It really should have only taken once for me to realize this, but I am slow sometimes.

When the sun came up, we assessed the damage. Our huge, heavy, wooden play set was lifted up and carried at least 100 yards away. The fence is damaged. The roof has some damage, and a lot of the flashing is off. Our garage door is torn up. It's a mess! Not to mention all the stuff from other people's roofs and trees.

We had planned to go to Six Flags for Mother's Day. Since we couldn't get anything done on a Sunday anyway, we decided to go ahead and go. It was nice to get away and not worry about the mess on Mother's Day, and we had a blast! I figure, I won't think about it today, I'll think about it another day.

BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!!

That is the sound a television makes as it is hitting the floor due to being pulled on as a five year old boy is climbing the armour to reach the race car his parents "hid" on top.

All I could think was, "thank god he's okay." Even as I was trying to act appropriately mad and make sure he realized that is dangerous and serious.

Reflecting on our marriage...

From my hubby

Yesterday was our 8th wedding anniversary. I guess that's not so long in the grand scheme of things, but it's a pretty long time to me. We began dating when I was 21, which I'm only now realizing is very young. I can't believe all we've been through in only 8 years. We have been pregnant 5 times. We had to say goodbye to our first child after only 3 days. We've had a miscarriage. We've brought three healthy, beautiful baby boys into the world, and we are learning to raise them every day. We both are consumed with the desire and responsibility to help them be happy, polite and responsible people.
With all that, it is too easy to neglect the "us" that we were when we got married. We were so in love and so idealistic. In many ways, we still are. But we are sewn together with the kind of grief that only we can understand. It brought us closer even as it destroyed our innocence.
With kids, marriage changes. Instead of coming in the door and being greeted by my kiss, he is greeted with two boys ready to pounce and wrestle. Our lives are very routine and predictable. From 5:30, when he gets home, until 7:30, when they go to bed, it is all about the kids and their routine. Then it's our time. Unfortunately, many nights we are too tired to do anything but watch TV. But there is something so comforting about the ease and rhythm of our relationship now. We both love how we don't have to talk about it or argue over who does what. We never even really talked about dividing chores in the first place. Our life just evolved into what it is. I don't think either of us would have it any other way.
So, yes, sometimes I miss the way it was. Simple. Exciting. New. But I love the richness of the present. The way we know each other. The life we've worked so hard to build. This is why I still save his messages to play over and over, just to hear his voice. I crave his presence because just being near him makes me feel comforted and relaxed. Creating a home for him and making him happy is what motivates me each day. Honey, I am so proud to be your wife and the mother of your children.
Thank you for 8 wonderful years.

Pretty Flowers

We worked in the yard all day today. We have to take turns; one of us works, and the other holds the baby and watches the kids. We weeded, planted petunias and geraniums, and I completely cleaned out my poor, neglected rose garden. There were so many weeds growing through the landscape fabric (hate that stuff) that I ripped it out. We moved the old mulch elsewhere and replaced it with fresh mulch. I was late in pruning the roses, so I got to bring in some beautiful flowers that had already begun to bloom.



These are Royal Wedding and Pure Perfume from Jackson and Perkins, and they smell so heavenly.




These roses are also from J&P, but they are amazing! They don't smell, but they aren't bothered by disease or pests AT ALL!! They bloom from May until it freezes, and they are shaped beautifully. So much better than the common Knock-Out Rose that is planted in practically every yard I see. I think these were called Baby's Blanket. I'm planning to put them everywhere in the new place. Along with Lavender. Yummmm....

Look in his eyes...

Could you ever, EVER, tell this face "no"?

New Price

We just had a meeting with our agent. I basically begged at her feet to sell our house NOW! We reduced the price by $15,000, which was actually my idea. She's gonna call the two couples who enjoyed dangling the "I love it" phrase around and see if they will bite.
~sigh~