living with a landlord

Oh yeah. I just realized that when we rent a house, we are gonna have a landlord. Hmmm. I don't know if I'm gonna like that too much. I still haven't heard about the house I want to rent, so today after school, I rode by. The owner was outside and waved at me, so I stopped. I got out and explained how much I wanted his house. He had another appointment coming today to look at it. I began a speech about how neat and clean we are even though we have three young kids, etc. He responded that he believed me because he had looked in my car yesterday while I was going through the house. Ewww. I have to admit that it was a little weird. Then again, he is considering letting my family live in his house, so I don't blame him. I passed. He said, "you can tell a lot about a person by their car, and yours was spotless." Thank goodness.
Then he went on to say that he may want to retain access to half of the basement for storage. He said he wouldn't go in the house, but he may go into the basement. Honestly, I'm not cool with that. I don't like the idea of somebody coming into the house in the middle of the night (or day) while I'm living there. Plus, I want that house specifically because of the basement. I plan to use it. I'm squeezing 5400 square feet into 3800 square feet. I know, it's still big, but we are a family of 5, and I work from home.
So, the dream rental may not become reality. I may have to spend tomorrow lining up something else, and I will be sad. But I did hear from the attorney's office today, and we are scheduled to close at 4:30 tomorrow, unless I hear otherwise. ALMOST there!

nothing to say

I know I haven't posted in a very long time. I just haven't had anything interesting to say. Well, I have. Tiki turned one. Did I post that? S turns 6 tomorrow. My girlfriend and I had a great trip to Alabama last week with our 5 kids during spring break. Yada yada yada. I'm depressed about the bum housing market, and sometimes I just go through the routines. Tiki is still very clingy and demanding. He's had more colds and teeth cut than any baby I know. I'm tired.
Of course, we have great days too, but I still never get around to posting. I'm more likely to write a quick facebook entry.
Things will turn around. I'm still very impressed with President Obama and confident our country will rally. I'm not, however, so confident that anyone will ever buy this house and release me.

who turns down free banana bread?

Got the house clean and had the showing. I made the banana bread for tomorrow's party and left it on the cooling rack with a knife and a note saying, "please help yourself. There's fresh coffee." I was offended when I got home and they had neither had banana bread or coffee. Don't they appreciate southern hospitality? Oh well, it's their loss because I make kick ass banana bread.

we're gonna buy your house. Sike!

I'm gonna finally try to tell this story, but I have been avoiding it. Avoiding thinking about it. We finally got an offer on the house. For $79,ooo less than asking. We countered, they countered. They wanted to close in 9 DAYS because they had locked in an amazing (4.27??) rate and only had it for 60 days. They hadn't yet sold their house, and weren't interested in moving until school was out so they wouldn't have to move their kids during school. We finally agreed on a price, with us and our agent bending over backwards. We were taking a huge hit, and she reduced her commission. They came for a second visit and looked forever. They couldn't get the appraisal back in time to get their rate, but they were still in love with the house and wanted it. They had to know what an amazing deal they were getting.
Then..... They sent word that they had "decided not to decide."

WHAT THE HELL?

So, I guess we're back to square one. I can't say I blame them. Once they lost the rate, there was no reason to rush things. They really should sell their house first. And they don't want to move yet anyway. But, I sure wish they hadn't yanked us around.

That's my story. I tried to write it all week, but I was too depressed to sit and go through it all in my mind again.

I feel trapped and helpless. My house has been for sale almost two years.

can I think of anything but real estate?

I think I need to rename this blog "My real estate obsessions." Heard from our agent today, and we have a showing tomorrow morning. It's the agent who sold us this house, so that's neat. I've already started cleaning. Just finished scrubbing 3 of the 5 bathrooms. I don't see the other two getting cleaned, honestly. I need to find a chance to clean the living room carpet again. Problem is, it's too loud to do while the baby sleeps, and it's impossible to do it while he's awake. Which is why they are filthy! I plan to never use carpet again, if I can convince my hubby. Maybe I have a chance, though, because his initial plan was to carpet the whole new office, and there is NO carpet in there. One point for me!
Seems like my chances of finishing the grout in the office are diminishing this weekend. We have the showing, the Superbowl, and G has a beer tasting he wants to attend Saturday. If all goes well, I'll be busy signing a contract anyway. Oh, to dream...

Tiki and real estate

Tiki already shows a love for music and dancing. All three of our boys have from an early age. He started walking last week, and he was standing up and dancing to the beat even before that. He's such a sweet and cuddly baby. Even so, he is the clingiest one we've had. I've never been able to put him down for very long.

When we came home from picking up S from school yesterday, there was an agent in our driveway. She had a man with her, and it was obvious they had been looking at houses. He was an Asian man with a strong accent wearing a suit. She had my flyer and asked if she could see it right away. I asked if I could go in and flush toilets and remove diapers. I had about 5 mins to throw things in drawers and shove an armful of stuff in the van. We drove around for about 10 minutes, and they were gone when we came back. You can't really look at this house in 10 minutes, so I assume he didn't like it. Oh well. I'm just glad I didn't know the day before and spend 8 hours cleaning and 24 hours being stressed. It's almost better this way, with no appointment.

I'll let you know if I get any feedback. My agent seemed irritated it happened that way. She said she had just shown one of that agent's houses. I hope I hear from her today.

Farewell 2008

Good Riddance! What a depressing year. I don't have to list it all, but I'll just say I think my New Year's resolution for 2008 was to sell my house. Guess what my 2009 resolution is? Sell my damn house! This year, I mean it!
I'm sure some good things happened in 08. Tiki was born. We bought the new office. Umm, I'd have to think hard to list more. I've been cranky and bitchy for most the year. I'm irritated that we are so stuck in this house. I feel trapped. It's so hard having a house on the market while raising three boys in it. It's downright depressing sometimes. I'm so ready to move on to the next thing.
So, maybe in 2009 I can get a fresh perspective and an attitude check.

The First Mother

Daddy's home!

I heard somewhere on the news that Michelle Obama's biggest project, if her husband were to win, was to be The First Mother to her girls. I think that was back when I was still on the fence, and it made such a huge impact on me. As bad as it makes me sound, I couldn't come to terms with how Sarah Palin expected to be in such a demanding job with five kids, one of them the same age as my baby and special needs. I have many days that I can't even vacuum the rug under the dining room table! Even if she is a stronger woman than I, I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that her children would suffer. I'm one of those moms who believes it is my job, and a very important one, to raise my children. It's sometimes hard, and it's not always fun. It certainly isn't glamorous. But I feel it's something I signed on for when I decided to bring these little people into the world. Now, don't get me wrong... I had plenty of other reasons not to like Sarah Palin as time moved on. This was just my first impression. All that to say, I'm so proud to be an American today and excited to see where we will go under this new presidency.

On the topic of putting the job of motherhood first, though, I have a dilemma that I want to put out there. I have many friends who are stay at home moms. We have playdates and talk occasionally on the phone. We even try to have a coffee date once a week when most of our kids are in school. I enjoy these relationships, and they often help me through on the days that are hard or lonely. I am careful to keep them in "my" time, though. My closest friends are those who have priorities similar to mine, and it is something that usually goes unspoken. Other friends who don't know me as well are more likely to try to arrange girl time during evenings or weekends. One friend in particular just invited me to a "girl's night in" where we would hang out in her house and spend the night. It is the third one I know of that she's had.

This is my dilemma. I really like the girl. But, I don't feel like I'm in a period in my life that I could go out with the girls and not come home. I don't even like going out just with the girls except for special occasions. I know I would feel weird about it if my husband decided to go out for the night and not come home. In all my life, I can't imagine my mom doing that. Last time I was invited, I had a legitimate excuse. This time, I just had to respond that I didn't feel right doing that right now. I always feel like the truth is the way to go. I just hope I haven't alienated her or made her mad at me.

I know I am old fashioned. I love to be with my family, and I miss them when I'm not. I am excited to share that priority with the First Lady Elect. There will be time for the rest later.

getting soft

Today, we took the kids on a family bike ride. We've always wanted nice bikes, and we finally bit the bullet and invested in the bikes, a trailer for the younger ones and a tag-a-long bike for the 5 year old, and 5 helmets. We are all set to be a biking family. After loading up, driving to our location and getting on the bikes, the ride lasted 10 minutes or less. The baby is still too young and doesn't like it too much. We are supposed to wait until he's a year, so that's okay. But what I'm upset about is that I'm in such bad shape. Really bad. I had to push us up the hill!

I spent all summer going to aerobics with my mom, and I was in good shape. I was so proud, I felt really good, and I had energy and endurance. Tiki got too old to sleep in the portable swing, so I quit "temporarily." Really, I have no solid plan for going back. It's at the same time as his morning nap, and the whole day is messed up if we miss that morning nap. It seems like a pathetic excuse, but it's not. In the meantime, I feel myself getting soft and lazy. I think I could work it out if they had a class at 10am, but they don't. I don't have enough drive to work out by myself.

Babies are time eaters. I love having a baby, and I know how fast these months pass. It bothers me much less with each baby than it did with the first. But you really have very little time to do anything but be a mama. I don't want to miss anything, and I try to burn into my brain how it feels to cuddle him. I'll be so sad when I no longer have a baby to hold. I remind myself that life is a series of phases, and I'm in the phase today of taking care of young children. I'll be a soft cuddly mom, and I'll have time to all buff and healthy some other time. Hopefully.

red wine induced rambling

What a nice moment. I had no idea how much I missed my computer. The baby is sleeping, the kids are downstairs playing, and I can smell a wonderful pork tenderloin cooking in oven. Oh, and I'm enjoying a nice glass of pinot noir. Is it a bad sign when you start drinking your wine from a tinted juice cup? I always break my wine glasses.

Anyway, I love having my desk next to the kitchen. I feel like an adult again. I'm still in the phase of holding Tiki ALL the time when he's awake. This desk is like a corner of "adult world" where I have MY stuff. All the cords are conceiled, so I don't have to worry anymore about Tiki chewing on the cables or pulling stuff down. I love being next to the kitchen and in the middle of everything going on with the family. I can turn the study into a real bedroom for him. Not that I ever wanted it to come to that. It can't be good for the market to have a makeshift bedroom... I'm not gonna worry about that right now. Dammitt, having a house on the market for so long with three very young boys is downright stressful. I get so tempted to just take it off for awhile. But we need to unload it. The lot payment is expensive. And there is the new office space we have a verbal contract on. That's exciting news, but it's still secret and I don't have time to get into it, so I'll write about that later. It has been a great distraction for me, though! I'm just so damn obsessive!

So down...

It's so hard to feel positive right now. The election has me crazy. I feel like we might get some hope back if we feel happy with our president. I've been on the fence about who I like better; I wish we could pick and choose policies.

I don't know where we are going in the financial market. Part of me feels like we are a nation of spoiled bratty kids who don't know how to manage our money, so a little recession (okay a big one) may help us set our priorities straight. What I worry about more, though, is how vulnerable this makes us to our enemies. I feel like we are a big, loud target right now, and that is frightening.

Lastly, the housing market. My two showings Saturday may have just made me feel worse. One couple loved the house except the kitchen isn't big enough. Really, how big of a kitchen do we need, people??? The other couple want a more private back yard. Mine backs up to a golf course. I can't blame them for that.

We're gonna have our first public open house Sunday. Really, my agent is just trying to make me happy. I don't expect anything to come of it.

I'm very down today about it all. I know we just have to ride it out. I think maybe things will begin to look up after the election.

Little Bastards Got Me

I'm up at 4AM because I can't stop itching! The other night, I got around 29 mosquito bites on my legs (yes, I counted), and they are driving me CRAZY. I'll never go outside at dusk again. Tiki has a cold and can't sleep well, so we are a sad pair.

I haven't been able to post much because we finally started putting Tiki to sleep in a crib. Since we only have three bedrooms on the main level, his crib is in our office, so I wake him up when I come in here making noise. Right now, he's in my bed where I should be if I could stop the damn itching!

Mama's Remorse

I'm stuck in that awful corner we parents get into when we make a threat we don't want to follow through with. We had two birthday parties scheduled for today. This morning was a swim party, and tonight is an awesome super-hero dress-up BBQ. We went to the swim party, and everyone had a great time. The kids were well behaved. The difficulty always comes when it's time to leave. I got the baby and 2 1/2 year old ready, and I spotted the 5 year old heading towards the pool. Following him, I said, "don't get back in the pool, it's time to go." He got faster. I repeated myself. He started down the steps. Then I heard myself say, "if you get back in the pool, you can't go to Tobey's party tonight." Dammit! Of course, he went right on in and continued to pretend not to hear me.

I walked to the other side, and I said, "Coocoo, do you hear what I'm saying? I will not warn you; if you don't come with us, you aren't going to the next party." Well, that was a warning, but I was trying to save face. I know many of the parents were listening, and most of them will be at the party tonight waiting to see if Coocoo gets to come. He ignored me again. I said goodbye as we were walking out, and he did get out and run to catch up.

To be sure he heard me, I asked him what I had said and to describe the situation. He recalled it with complete accuracy, ending with, "and I went back in the pool anyway." Yeah, he heard me. I have no "out." I can't let him go tonight.

What kids don't know about consequences is that it really does hurt the parent as much as it hurts them. I will dread all day long the look on his face when he watches his dad and brother go to the party. I'm sick about it, and I want to throw up. Why did I have to reach so deep? Why couldn't I have said he'd spend an hour in his room or loose his computer for a week? Or just not made a threat at all while on my toes?

The new book I'm reading, Have a New Kid By Friday, says not to warn or threaten. It says to make your request calmly, walk away, and allow the child to make his own consequences. If I had done that, I would have had more time to come up with a consequence. Then again, if it doesn't hurt, what's the point? I have to establish respect and obedience now if I ever wish to make it a habit.

Now I have the horrible image of me running after him, out of control, spouting off threats with him ignoring me. I think we both lost this one.

almost there

It's been one of those long, dull days in which I go through the moves with a glaze over my eyes. Mondays are my busy days anyway. 8:45am Aerobics. 10am Coocoo's speech lesson. 11:20am massage one of my weekly clients. I usually get a break when the two youngest take their afternoon nap, but Booboo decided he wouldn't be having a nap today. He played in there an hour, so I guess I did sort of get the break. Although the baby was up during that time. He hasn't had a great nap all day.

Because the 2 1/2 year old didn't get his nap, he's been extra squeal-y. Is that a word?

I hate when I get like this. Coocoo challenged me just now by getting into one of my drawers that he knows he isn't allowed to get into. I opened my mouth to say I would spank him (I don't feel good about saying that), but instead I said I would smack him. Yes, I actually said that. I heard it come out, and I cringed. I'm gonna have to apologize. But instead I'm blogging.

Since he was a baby, he has constantly challenged me. Sometimes I'm up for it. I'm rested and in a good frame of mind and I handle it perfectly. Other times, if I'm tired or low, I react rather than respond. That's when I feel like shit about my mothering.

By the way, my husband just came home. I told him I was blogging about my bad day. He said, "every day is good that you're married to me." He was joking, but he was right. And just like that, I'm starting to feel better. I love that man. Well, that and I love the Pinot Noir I'm drinking!

New Price

We just had a meeting with our agent. I basically begged at her feet to sell our house NOW! We reduced the price by $15,000, which was actually my idea. She's gonna call the two couples who enjoyed dangling the "I love it" phrase around and see if they will bite.
~sigh~

Your house is perfect for them, but...

That is the third time I have heard that phrase from my agent. But...he has to bring his wife. But...he doesn't know it's for him, even though it's her favorite. But...they don't really need all that space in the finished terrace level. The last one was the news from today. It was a daughter looking for her 75ish year old parents. Our upstairs is a ranch, and that's perfect for them. But about 2600 square feet in the basement is finished, and they just don't need it. However, they are determined to not have stairs in their living space, so it still just may work. And they can close the door to the basement, turn off the heating and air, and simply forget it's there. Or keep it for future "live in" care. Our agent told theirs that we would leave the golf cart (he's a big golfer) and be flexable on the price. The house they are selling has a contract with a contingency, so they will have to buy a house if the couple buying theirs follows through. Then maybe they'll choose mine. And maybe not.

House Showing

After almost four weeks (one day shy of it), we finally showed our house today. It is so much work getting the whole thing ready to show. We have Guy's dad and uncle out from California, but they are really helpful. So, now we are waiting again to hear from our agent. Please god let this be it!

A Momma Time Out

I took all three kids to the grocery store today after school, which is something I haven't done much yet. I'm so immune to noise that I thought it was going okay. The older boys were riding in the car thing the store provides (hooked onto the cart). The baby was in the sling. They were getting a little amped up; they hadn't seen each other all day. Anyway, while checking out, a young man with "special needs" was bagging our groceries. Coo made BooBoo (2 year old) squeal really, really loud. The poor bagging man jumped and grabed his face! I couldn't believe it. I realized I was "that woman" with the loud, out of control kids. Since they don't fight and scream in the store, I didn't really see it that way. Suddenly, I was hyper-aware and irritated. CooCoo tried to hug me from behind and I said, "stop it!." When I got the kids loaded into the van, the baby screamed the whole way home! Screamed! By the time we got in and got the groceries unloaded, I was a mess. I barked at the kids to leave me alone and give me a minute. I took the baby into my room, stripped off my jeans and put on something cooler. Then I sat down to nurse. By the time he was done nursing, I was so sad that I lost my fuse. Both the boys had left me alone, and they were quietly watching tv. I hugged them both and told them thank you so much for giving mommy a break. I told them I was irritated by the noise and the baby crying, and I needed to be alone to calm down.

I think we can all learn a lesson from times like these. First, my kids weren't being bad at the store, and I shouldn't have let what I thought was someone else's opinion influence me. Second, and more importantly, my children learn from these situations that everyone gets crabby sometimes and needs a "time out." And when your time out is over, it's the right thing to do to apologize to the person you were mean to. To see your mother humble herself and say "I'm sorry" is a hell of a lot more effective than for her to always yell for you to do it. Nobody is perfect.

Still here..

I have a semi-quiet moment because I put on a video for the kids and fed them a snack. I haven't updated in awhile because there isn't anything going on. I made it through the weekend, which was a real challenge. Guy was in a seminar for three long days, and CooCoo had no school for 4 days. Plus, I had a terrible cold. It was rough! My mom helped a lot, and that's the only reason I survived!

I feel better now, and the pregnancy is still going fine. I only have to make it 8 more days, so I'm keeping my fingers (and my legs) crossed. He still moves around quite a bit. I did manage to finally get his clothes out of the attic, washed and put away. Poor thing doesn't have a room or closet, so I built a dresser from Home Depot to hold his things until we can sell our house. I got packed for the hospital yesterday, so my "to do" list is finally done.

As for the house, we haven't had a showing since last Friday. The man who liked it was out of town until this past Tuesday, but my agent still hasn't heard back from his. So, either he's just not in a hurry or he isn't that serious about the house afterall. We'll have a big Agent's Tour next Tuesday as long as nothing unexpected happens with the pregnancy before then.

So, I guess things are pretty dull around here right now. Just waiting and waiting, and I don't know when either of the things I'm anticipating will happen. It's not fun anticipating two major events at one time! I wish I had the patience and good nature of my husband. Actually, I just wish I had my husband around more right now because I'm tending to feel lonely. Everyday I'm just holding on until he gets home at 5:30. Only one hour and 15 minutes left today!

Disappointing, Lonely Valentines

Today has been very disappointing. The man who "liked my house the best" was supposed to bring his wife today. My agent called his yesterday to confirm, and she never heard back from her. So I don't know if it is postponed or just not happening. On the bright side, I do have a showing tomorrow at 3pm. Also, my husband is attending a seminar about an hour away today, tomorrow and Saturday, so he won't be home until 8pm or so each night. At least he is able to come home, I guess. But the kids may not see him at all. They go to bed at 7:30pm.

I have been so tired today too. I feel like I'm fighting a chest cold so I really hope it is that and not a sign of impending labor! I really need to make it two more weeks so my maternity insurance will kick in. So, I wandered around the house today tired, cranky and lonely. I thought I was supposed to drive to Atlanta tonight and meet my hubby for dinner (which we have NEVER done since we had kids), but even that fell through. Luckily, I talked my mom into going out with me and the kids for Valentine's dinner. She rarely will leave at night, so that was a nice treat. Although, CooCoo was in a mood and was pretty annoying. I think I've pretty much just been annoyed all day.

Wow, I'm a real downer tonight, huh?