A date with my little men

I'm a day late, but I'm determined to deliver on a promise to post about something not related to real estate. I do happen to have a cute story about the kids.

S is in kindergarten, and they have to learn a certain number of site words to pass. Not to brag, but my kid is a damn genius! Sorry. He's almost done with all of them for the year, and I'm very proud of him. Our deal is that I take them out for ice cream after school when he passes a new set (they are tested in sets of 10, 200 in all). So, Wednesday, we all went to a local coffee shop. Ice cream for them, Chai latte for mom. It's the first time we've gone there for our ice cream. All three of the boys were SOOOOO good. I felt like I was on a date with the three cutest men in the world. We actually had real conversation. Not just about nickelodeon either. They used their manners and there was no fighting. It was one of those parenting moments that you want to remember forever. There are others that you want to forget immediately, so I really want to treasure this one.

Sometime during the date, S said, "mom, this is a fancy place. I like fancy places." I felt the same way. My days are so full of sweeping, wiping, changing and refereeing that I often forget fancy places and clean clothes. Oh, not that I had on clean clothes. No, I had on sweat pants. Dirty sweat pants. And it was an hour after we got home that I discovered that I had worn my house shoes! Oh well, at least they're uggs.

Today's Adventures

Today, me and the kids hopped in the van and went to the Fernbank Museum in Atlanta. We had such a nice day. The kids were awesome. They have a great cafe with a yummy chicken salad sandwich. It was so nice to get out of town and have fun. I didn't want to wait here to hear back from our agent. She did call and said she couldn't get much feedback from the other agent. The couple plans to return in January and select a house then. I guess they don't want to reveal their cards yet. Not terrible news, but not the news I wanted either.

S actually took this picture of me and Tiki! I thought he did such a great job.

They were polar bears.

They were penguins.

They listened intently on a 25 minute lecture on reptiles, and of course they were in awe of the giant dinosaur displays.

After tomorrow, G will be home for a four day weekend, then school will resume Tuesday. Three weeks is a long break, and they've been bored, but it's been nice too. We're almost there!

the smell of Christmas

Ahhh. I love the smell of Christmas. Ginger. Cinnamon. Cloves. Pine. The kids and I are making gingerbread houses. We are taking our time because it is a long process. Last night, I made the dough and cut the patterns. Tonight, we rolled out the dough, cut the pieces and baked them. We all snuck a gingerbread bear, and they are delicious! Tomorrow (hopefully) we'll make the icing and construct the house.

We also have a playdate in the morning to make cookies at my friend's house. Yum. I don't like the commercialism of Christmas, but these home-y traditions make me remember why it's such a wonderful time of year. I hope my children will remember this and hold it dear.

I couldn't do it.

I had a talk with Coocoo yesterday and told him I would offer him a choice. He could either miss the party or loose his computer for 3 days. I told him he would loose the chance to choose if he got into trouble one time. He choose the computer, so we all got to go to the party.

I'm so glad! I felt too much guilt over the whole thing. It was a wonderful party, the good old-fashioned backyard barbecue. They played games (like sack races) and rented a big bouncy thing. It was steaming hot, though, so Tiki was a little fussy. I know I put myself into a bad position, but I decided the whole family shouldn't suffer for it. Or should I have held firm and made him miss the party? Maybe. This parenting thing is hard.

Mama's Remorse

I'm stuck in that awful corner we parents get into when we make a threat we don't want to follow through with. We had two birthday parties scheduled for today. This morning was a swim party, and tonight is an awesome super-hero dress-up BBQ. We went to the swim party, and everyone had a great time. The kids were well behaved. The difficulty always comes when it's time to leave. I got the baby and 2 1/2 year old ready, and I spotted the 5 year old heading towards the pool. Following him, I said, "don't get back in the pool, it's time to go." He got faster. I repeated myself. He started down the steps. Then I heard myself say, "if you get back in the pool, you can't go to Tobey's party tonight." Dammit! Of course, he went right on in and continued to pretend not to hear me.

I walked to the other side, and I said, "Coocoo, do you hear what I'm saying? I will not warn you; if you don't come with us, you aren't going to the next party." Well, that was a warning, but I was trying to save face. I know many of the parents were listening, and most of them will be at the party tonight waiting to see if Coocoo gets to come. He ignored me again. I said goodbye as we were walking out, and he did get out and run to catch up.

To be sure he heard me, I asked him what I had said and to describe the situation. He recalled it with complete accuracy, ending with, "and I went back in the pool anyway." Yeah, he heard me. I have no "out." I can't let him go tonight.

What kids don't know about consequences is that it really does hurt the parent as much as it hurts them. I will dread all day long the look on his face when he watches his dad and brother go to the party. I'm sick about it, and I want to throw up. Why did I have to reach so deep? Why couldn't I have said he'd spend an hour in his room or loose his computer for a week? Or just not made a threat at all while on my toes?

The new book I'm reading, Have a New Kid By Friday, says not to warn or threaten. It says to make your request calmly, walk away, and allow the child to make his own consequences. If I had done that, I would have had more time to come up with a consequence. Then again, if it doesn't hurt, what's the point? I have to establish respect and obedience now if I ever wish to make it a habit.

Now I have the horrible image of me running after him, out of control, spouting off threats with him ignoring me. I think we both lost this one.