Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Reflecting on our marriage...
From my hubby
Yesterday was our 8th wedding anniversary. I guess that's not so long in the grand scheme of things, but it's a pretty long time to me. We began dating when I was 21, which I'm only now realizing is very young. I can't believe all we've been through in only 8 years. We have been pregnant 5 times. We had to say goodbye to our first child after only 3 days. We've had a miscarriage. We've brought three healthy, beautiful baby boys into the world, and we are learning to raise them every day. We both are consumed with the desire and responsibility to help them be happy, polite and responsible people.
With all that, it is too easy to neglect the "us" that we were when we got married. We were so in love and so idealistic. In many ways, we still are. But we are sewn together with the kind of grief that only we can understand. It brought us closer even as it destroyed our innocence.
With kids, marriage changes. Instead of coming in the door and being greeted by my kiss, he is greeted with two boys ready to pounce and wrestle. Our lives are very routine and predictable. From 5:30, when he gets home, until 7:30, when they go to bed, it is all about the kids and their routine. Then it's our time. Unfortunately, many nights we are too tired to do anything but watch TV. But there is something so comforting about the ease and rhythm of our relationship now. We both love how we don't have to talk about it or argue over who does what. We never even really talked about dividing chores in the first place. Our life just evolved into what it is. I don't think either of us would have it any other way.
So, yes, sometimes I miss the way it was. Simple. Exciting. New. But I love the richness of the present. The way we know each other. The life we've worked so hard to build. This is why I still save his messages to play over and over, just to hear his voice. I crave his presence because just being near him makes me feel comforted and relaxed. Creating a home for him and making him happy is what motivates me each day. Honey, I am so proud to be your wife and the mother of your children.
Thank you for 8 wonderful years.